Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
