He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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