i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
