I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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