She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
