i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
