So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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