do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
