you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
