I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
