What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
