He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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