Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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