Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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