I hate all girls vehemently.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
