in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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