Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
