Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
