If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
