just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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