youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
