Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
