I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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