why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
