what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
