I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
