hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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