dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We left the knife in your bed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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