i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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