I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
