Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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