Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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