Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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