he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
