She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
