you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
