That's intense
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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