just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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