Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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