I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
last night I used snow as a chaser
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
