the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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