Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
