My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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