is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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