and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
