Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
