Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
