I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
