On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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