That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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